Hazel - Jabba the Pig

(This is an old picture, please see below and chart for updated weight)

Today we weighed the pigs. Missy has stayed at 1.05 kg, she has stabilized at this current weight for a about 8 months now, Nutty weighed in at 1.29 kg, after the initial exponential growth rate during the first few months with us, she has only gained about 10g every two weeks. I am rather disappointed with their performance.

About a year ago, Sippy, a guinea pig of ours suffered from some bizarre ailment which caused her brain to swell and push against her skull, she died a horrible death, Giorgia* was devastated while I was just sad to see the opportunity of a tasty meal float away with the smoke from the pet body incinerator. During her suffering (Sippy’s not Giorgia), we tried everything to save her, we admitted her to an animal hospital. At the animal hospital, we saw on an adjacent berth to Sippy’s a label which read:

NAME: Hazel
SEX: F
COLOUR: Brown
NOTES: NO FOOD

Upon closer inspection of the berth, we spied a massive inert mass lounging in the corner, inspecting us through beady eyes to check if we were bearers of food and treats. That mass turns out to be a giant guinea pig! She was easily four times the volume of Nutty, I estimate her dimensions to be:

LENGTH: 30cm
GIRTH: 15cm
HEIGHT: 12cm
WEIGHT: 5kg

That’s the size of a small dog! A rodent of truly Goliath proportions! I am talking about Jabba the Hutt type of body shape and indolent attitude. No wonder the label said no food. I was so impressed by the sight and at the same time quite heartened: This monstrosity is proof that given the right diet, each of our pigs can indeed feed a family of four or more. That night I went home and immediately set out a menu, for perhaps summer 2006 when we can harvest them and enjoy a huge midsummer feast at the lab.

But from the evidence of the weighing today, this feast seems ever more remote, unless some miracle intervention occurs… Some protein shake for them perhaps?

*Giorgia – Protector of guinea pigs, a most wonderful friend and cook with impeccable taste. In her spare time when not disrupting my plans for the pigs she likes to work on her PhD.